Everybody has this moment

Recently I’ve hooked up with this new podcast, I Heart Radio The Breakfast Club (TBC), hosted by Angela Yee, DJ Envy and Charlemagne the God.  And I was reminded of the news (not news but used to be) that one of the most promising prodigy in Rap Music scene, XXXTentacion, died one year ago. Barely remember!


The first time I heard of his song was when I watched Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse a couple of months ago. That song “Scared of the Dark" made me cry for no reason right at the cinema; and several times on the bus to work afterwards, also for no reason.  Maybe depression kicks in but I’m sure as no psychiatrist has diagnosed it on me.

It’s not the point, though, in this passage. It’s not even about music this time. Though I may share with you the music after I get all out off my chest here.  In one episode of TBC I listened to today,  Angela Yee corrected the pronunciation of XXXTentacion (“ex-ten-Tah-see-On"), which dragged my reminiscence of a scene last week I was with my kids in front of a toy shop, where my daughter asked me what rap music is my favourite (yeah, she is now at the age that she wants to know more about what men like and what’s men like. I mean barely 6 yo! Precocious is the term no? I learn it from Turn Up Charlie). And then and there I answered, “‘Ex-Ex-Ex-Ten-sion’ my girl, you remember girl? The song that you heard of in Spiderman movie we watched together," before playing another rap song to her, Black Panther by Kendrick Lamar.

I remember now then, when I pronounced it, wrongly clearly now that Angela told me, my voice was loud enough for some passers-by around 3 feet from us if there were one. This is the moment I’ve got, that made me blush by my buff.  It further called up my memory 15 years further to when I yelled out in Australia I loved “Em-min-num", got corrected bluntly by my mate there “Em-min-Em, as his initial, Matthew what I forgot it". That time my blush by a rebuff on my buff by somebody, who cared I made mistakes, and genuinely corrected me for my own good.  Reading the news in Hong Kong, where a nobody called William CHAN got blasted lambaste his nic off because of him incorrectly saying something in English in interview or something I simply don’t know. I wonder, whether I would be treated the so horribly same, when there WERE some passers-by in Hong Kong who heard me pronouncing “Em-min-num" and “Ex-Ex-Ex-Ten-sion".  Hong Kong people are quite often horrible to someone who made mistakes in English pronunciation. Excoriation to get the skin out of one’s body like you see what a fishmonger done to a fish or eel in typical Chinese market. For no reason. Pride maybe; Righteousness maybe; Superiority maybe; Rage maybe; Hate maybe. But definitely not about English; definitely nothing about FOR ONES’ OWN GOOD. For nobody’s good to be honest. That’s the scariest thing. Scarier than the Scare of the Dark.

How do people learn when ones are immersed into learning, mastering something? Simple. Making mistakes! Or you hear them nothing coming out. Coz, they don’t care. Or it would be a final result when your castigation keeps going on, that you hear no more coming out from them. Coz they don’t care no more. They learn no more. Just like you. Maybe it’s what you planned. So you succeed. Congratulation. That’s how horrible your rebuff is. Not a rebuff. But a switch off. You switch off what we shouldn’t have. Smoulder an ember that keep us human human beings, being alive. The ember to keep improve ourselves, on what we love, for the sake of freedom, and Good.



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