Am I getting more serious?

My low may get back now. Not that I used to be cheerful and positive. I am always low at default, so I treat my as normal, as long as it’s not start impacting my social life. So, when I say I get back low it means I’ve got my low so low that I cannot stand.

The symptom is. In the street I saw a friend with his son. A real friend whom with I used to study together; go to camp together; have the first pillow chat experience together, and the second the third, to a couple of years. But I avoided him today, for no fucking reason. We haven’t had issues with each other recently. In fact I haven’t met with nearly everyone I know recently, except absolutely unavoidable, like my colleagues, family, those who are helping my family, or those watchmen at the lobby.

Still I avoided him today. He just walked a step in my front with his son. We shared the same escalator down to the lobby of the mall, he and his son being only one step in front, one step ahead. And I was scared of him recognising me behind, avoiding him with all my strength, like I would pray for not meeting him eye to eye, to talk, to say hi, if I did have a god. The fear kept thrilling until at the landing I was sure we literally took two directions apart. They on right; and I on the left.

That I feel I am to my record low again. Am I serious? Not focusing on work type of serious. I mean, am I serious now? Am I severe? Am I getting intense? Am I mental now ? Like they said in Twitter?


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