對我而言, 目前為止生存是一件很痛苦的事. 因為要被迫每日見證/體驗 極為不快的事, 而沒有辦法/膽量把它終結.
My life’s been cursed so far is what I’m saying. D’you know what I mean. Every day I live I have to endure the pain and the anger. But I do not have the liberty to end it is what I’m saying. And it’s not even the worst. The worst is I cannot abandon pain and anger I’m feeling, or the desperation and pity and tears will fill in. The three things I hate the most in my life, esp. when it’s thrusting into my life, to define my being. Fuck that. That’s how I feel fucked up.
So, I need comedians so much. So much that I cannot be satiated. Even Comedians who do no comedy, but just talking about the food they love and hate. And since this podcast was first released I cannot stop being hooked to it. Maybe because I’m a part-time cook/weekend cook myself to take care of my family. Most of the jokes inside the episodes may be so hilarious and absurd that some may find simply NOT FUNNY. But they are the things I cringe and crave, is the only motivation driving me to WAIT for my next week. If there’s something I want to WAIT till next week, I WAIT for those. That’s how important the podcast is to me, man. Folks here. Readers here. Twitters who may be here time to time. WAIT is a luxury. WAIT for something to come, that you want it to come, and feeling frustrated if it doesn’t. Is a luxury in your life. One day, I saw a couple in market near where I live when I did shopping. Weekend regulars. The couple was older than me for maybe 5-10 years. The wife/girlfriend, hooked her arm in her husband/boyfriend’s arm look a loose chain. They sauntered casually, non-combat, free of quivers and ruffles, enjoying their weekend with nothing important happening. I caught me then as WAITING for such a day to come in 5 to even 10 years is now a luxury to me, that I dare not even put in my waiting list. I cannot WAIT too long for things to happen. So I WAIT for every episode of that podcast to come every week. My Weekday Regulars.
The latest ep’s GOH was Krishnan Guru-Murthy, news anchor of Channel 4 News. Fascinating and funny. First, I love Indian food. Spicy but not too much and always with a tint of wit and delicacy in it. And more casual than Chinese food. That is reflected in them people as well. On average, an Indian is less uptight more funny than a Chinese. (My unofficial observation with no validation). Second, I know an intelligent man is the one who can present things in order, clear, tidy, and attractive and catching audience’s memory zone. Krishnan is an intelligent man, very intelligent man, doing exactly that even describing an inconsequential thing like food. Very impressive. And from him I know I never am an intelligent man, that I always aspire to be.
Fail. Never mind. I always fail. Since the first day of my life.